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The Simple Bit Xmas Party Survival Guide

Author: The Simple Bit

Category: Short Cuts

It’s supposed to be a reward for a year of hard work, but work Christmas parties can be a minefield. Take people out of the office and add alcohol and old grudges can come up, new romances can blossom and reputations can be won (and lost). We give you 6 simple tips to help you come out smelling like roses.

The simple bits:

  • Office parties are a reward for hard work, but they come with responsibility
  • It’s worth thinking ahead to make sure you survive the silly season
  • Managing your drinking (or at least your hangover) is a start
  • Having an exit strategy (or two) can help
  • But…it’s always worth showing up



Oh come all ye faithful (employees). One minute you’re toasting a profitable year, champagne glittering in your mouth. The next you’re on a conference call, headache like an obnoxious trumpet, having unwelcome flashbacks and staring woefully into the black abyss of the speaker. BAM there’s laying into Alice about her pass-agg emails and BAM there’s swallowing your vomit mid-mingle and BAM there’s reliving your parkour days on the corporate furniture.

But that was last year. This year, we here at The simple bit want to make sure you don’t just survive but thrive…


Haitch two oh

Don’t underestimate the pure, simple power of life-giving, reputation-saving water. Desperately chugging a two-litre bottle when you get home is amateur drinking behaviour though. And now we’ve got a proper job, with a ‘work wardrobe’ and maybe even a professional phone voice, it’s time to level up our drinking game. Drink plenty of water before the party, then match every drink with a glass of water to best ease your hangover. Head over to Drinkwise to get even more tips on how to drink properly. 


Hit rewind

If something does go awry, take a moment to think it over the next day (remembering that you might just be hungover and paranoid too). If your integrity is in doubt, get on the front foot with an apology to your boss so they understand how seriously you take your behaviour. Drunk you is like Beyonce and Sacha Fierce, right? Only your Sacha Fierce likes delivering home truths to Jeremy from Logistics with inappropriate candour. 


To Jeremy from Logistics! Pic by Alasdair Elmes.


Have some digital decorum

You’re still technically on work time, so don’t be too trigger-happy on the old uploads. Don’t post anything that you wouldn’t be happy for your boss to see (they might, after all). And ask someone’s permission before a photo of them goes out into the world wide web.


Ditch the DMCs

 Plenty of places are fertile ground for a deep and meaningful conversation. Your mate’s kitchen table at 4am, the queue for the toilets, hell, even your grandad’s 90th. When it comes to work functions though, it’s worth managing your expectations if you’re the kind of person who likes to solve the world’s problems after a drink or two. Small talk is soul-destroying. But for one night only, it’s safe territory for those colleagues you like well enough but probably don’t want to a) get into a political argument with or b) receive sympathetic, knowing glances from around the computer monitor for the next year because you revealed the depths of how your parents didn’t love you as a child.


Exit strategies

Have them up your sleeve. Maybe you need to head to the bathroom or grab a fresh drink (like a water, remember!) Or say it’s been great to talk but there’s a certain colleague you haven’t spoken to yet and you must say hello. Parties are for socialising, so don’t feel like you need an excuse to move on.


Show up

Like the gym, half the battle is getting there. As much as you might prefer not to, just bite the bullet and show up. That includes work the next morning too. A hangover shared is a hangover halved. Especially when you get fast food delivered to the office.